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And headed back into the living room. Who is she? Watching tv and waiting for her to wake up. It was getting close to 1 pm. I decided to get something to eat in the kitchen and just as I entered my bedroom door opened. She started to yawn and stretch. And before I could say anything. She looked over at me and she said “ hey stinky, remember me?.” I looked at her for a couple of seconds. The voice was familiar but the face and body were not. Still unsure who she was she said. “ it’s me Melissa, we grew up next door to each other.” I continued to look at her and her body since she did not cover up when she came out of the room. So she was standing totally naked. I finally said “ wow, you look so much different than when we were kids.” I said “ you lost a lot of weight.” “ you used to be.” She stopped me from saying the F word. She said “ I know, I used to be fucking huge.” I couldn’t believe how good she looked. She had also. Cut and dyed her hair. Still doesn’t answer one of my. 'The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.'The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad passionate love to me seven times.'The priest thought long and hard and then said,'Squeeze seven lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?'The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your face.'Catholic DogMuldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked,'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor creature?'Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them for the service?'Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother.
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